Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
