Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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