Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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