Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
