singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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