they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
