You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
