Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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