I hate all girls vehemently.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
