i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
