White coat. Heels.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
