I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
