i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
