I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
