this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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