So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question