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• (914): View more from New York

  i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

  Fav 24 1792 6396

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail

  Fav 47 1067 13564

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

  Fav 29 6268 929

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

  Fav 29 10328 1976

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+33): View more from France

  Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

  Fav 23 1329 4679

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• (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

  Fav 3 3058 1040

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

  Fav 18 3101 1306

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.

  Fav 3 979 1525

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.

  Fav 7 689 991

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

  Fav 11 2751 796

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Gotta love Minnesota

  Fav 3 1162 623

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• (817): View more from Texas

  When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

  Fav 3 878 533

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present

  Fav 3 548 459

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians

  Fav 3 414 605

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I am to reach this level of casual destruction.

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