so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."