Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
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ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle