Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
