I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
