I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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