Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
