Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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