just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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