She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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