I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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