Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
