Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
