you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
