I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize