Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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