i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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