It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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