i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
