yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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