Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
