I understand Curling. That high.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As shirtless as possible
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
