He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
