yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
