So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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