Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So many bounce houses so little time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize