Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

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  (248): Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks! http://tfl.nu/xdy8
  Replies (7) Good night (1387) Bad night (754)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless

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  (816): I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless http://tfl.nu/8o2w
  Replies (21) Good night (3600) Bad night (1000)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (712) Bad night (1952)
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  (510): View more from California

  my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum

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  (510): my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum http://tfl.nu/or47
  Replies (20) Good night (756) Bad night (4309)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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  (847): i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/7299
  Replies (48) Good night (1311) Bad night (5003)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

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  (631): i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture http://tfl.nu/o7a7
  Replies (32) Good night (2020) Bad night (8315)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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  (780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu
  Replies (35) Good night (1313) Bad night (5575)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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  (518): I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes http://tfl.nu/yql0
  Replies (18) Good night (3077) Bad night (856)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.

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  (202): Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death. http://tfl.nu/mvsk
  Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (5054)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...

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  (630): note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots... http://tfl.nu/3sut
  Replies (14) Good night (4497) Bad night (1405)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.

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  (406): I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight. (1-406): Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it. http://tfl.nu/p8t9
  Replies (10) Good night (3474) Bad night (968)
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  (714): View more from California

  I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.

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  (714): I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go. http://tfl.nu/ktl8
  Replies (14) Good night (1998) Bad night (739)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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  (985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (543)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?

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  (270): How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before? http://tfl.nu/mcbw
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (505)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....

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  (512): I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin.... http://tfl.nu/idup
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (558)

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