Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.