So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
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some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.