Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?! (774): Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to. http://tfl.nu/gr6l

Replies (25) Good night (1047) Bad night (5202)
Favorite
(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(912): i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar http://tfl.nu/twn7

Replies (23) Good night (2658) Bad night (1867)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous. http://tfl.nu/e117

Replies (14) Good night (4702) Bad night (602)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious. http://tfl.nu/jbo1

Replies (8) Good night (5592) Bad night (1135)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad. http://tfl.nu/wyhj

Replies (9) Good night (5991) Bad night (1085)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up. http://tfl.nu/ztp2

Replies (14) Good night (8427) Bad night (924)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies http://tfl.nu/w2ol

Replies (4) Good night (3261) Bad night (854)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/psr6

Replies (4) Good night (2375) Bad night (1185)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6

Replies (17) Good night (1472) Bad night (3006)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane. http://tfl.nu/r200

Replies (20) Good night (3026) Bad night (1563)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte

Replies (7) Good night (2370) Bad night (657)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios? http://tfl.nu/2jhx

Replies (13) Good night (573) Bad night (1437)
Favorite
(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(828): Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis? http://tfl.nu/tjmy

Replies (12) Good night (995) Bad night (397)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I just put wine in my tea

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7

Replies (5) Good night (748) Bad night (407)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?

(505): View more from New Mexico

...it's a 9am class...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer? (505): ...it's a 9am class... http://tfl.nu/7p5a

Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (344)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard