Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.