my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
