do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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