I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
