I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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