I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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