I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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