Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
