More tranny stories later!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
