watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
