you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
