Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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