Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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