shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
