I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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