One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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