I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
